Why I Started HCJ: Journeying Together

I started Healing Cancer Journeys because cancer patients are suffering. 

We are psychologically suffering. Because a surprise cancer diagnosis picked up whatever dreams we once had for our lives and dashed them to the floor like a billion broken mirrors. And because the uncertainty of the next scan or the next lab result or the next doctor’s visit could change our entire lives forever. And because the specter of death is a constant companion always walking by our side, whispering in our ear and reminding us that life is short. And it’s terrifying. 

And we are physically suffering from the chemo. And the radiation. And the surgeries. And the countless medical procedures that prick and poke and prod our broken bodies into weary submission. And we are physically suffering every second. Of every minute. Of every hour. Day after day. Day after day. And it’s exhausting. 

And we are suffering because we are trapped inside the prison of our suffering selves. Trapped by the rage at a few random genes that set our bodies to grow gruesome tumors. Trapped by the echoing self-talk that maybe this disease is not really random, but is maybe our fault. Trapped by the endless maze of death and fear and suffering. Of fear and death and suffering. Of suffering and fear and death . . . wandering around and around and around within the walls that imprison our souls. 

And I started Healing Cancer Journeys because psychedelic medicines offer so much hopeful promise to help alleviate our suffering. 

There is hope in research suggesting that a single psychedelic dose is more effective than the current gold standard in treating psychological distress. And hope in brain imaging illustrating how psychedelic medicines could help us create new neural connections, freeing us from oppressive thought patterns. And so much hope in story after story after story from individual cancer patients who benefitted from psychedelic medicines and chose to share their healing journeys with the world.

And I started Healing Cancer Journeys because the healer’s oath is ‘First, do no harm’. And because psychedelics are powerful medicines that present real risks that could undermine that sacred pledge.

Like any potent medicine, psychedelic medicines have side effects. Cardiovascular side effects. And gastrointestinal side effects. And neuropsychiatric side effects. Every medicine has side effects. And psychedelic medicines are no different. But these side effects are somewhat unclear due to the lack of large-scale, well-controlled clinical trials evaluating psychedelic medicines. And those side effect risks are further heightened when most psychedelic medicines are accessed from unregulated, black market sources. And these side effects are especially concerning for cancer patients who are generally older, sicker and more fragile than the average human.  

And there are legal risks. Because most psychedelic medicines are illegal in most places in the world. So, even if these medicines offer powerful healing potential, the police can still arrest you and judges can still imprison you for possessing illegal drugs. Yes, some psychedelic medicines are somewhat legal in some parts of our country. But that’s part of the problem: we have patchwork drug laws and inconsistent enforcement policies, creating confusion among people exploring psychedelic medicines.

And these legal and medical risks are amplified by the lack of clear, evidence-based information about psychedelic medicines. Because psychedelics are a unfortunate casualty in a decades-old culture war. And in our culture wars, information about psychedelics is often pushed into the distant poles of either ignorant fear-mongering or naive evangelism. And it’s really, really, really hard to distinguish fact from fiction from propaganda. And without knowing the truth. . . the real truth . . . both the good truths and the bad truths, we can’t make informed decisions about whether the potential benefits of psychedelic medicines are worth the potential risks.

And I started Healing Cancer Journeys because I have experienced all of this first hand. 

Cancer has upended my life. I have lived with physical and psychological pain for years. I am existentially exhausted by that pain. I am so, so, so tired. But I have been fortunate to experience the power of psychedelics to minimize my suffering. Psychedelic medicines have not and will never eliminate my suffering completely. But they have helped to bring my life into a place where joy outweighs suffering. I am so grateful that I discovered psychedelics. And I want to support others in making similar discoveries. But I have also experienced the fear and uncertainty about the legal and medical risks of using psychedelic medicines. I know that I am doing the right thing for myself and my family, but I am always afraid that a law enforcement officer or self-righteous politician will change that risk / benefit calculation. I am so afraid.

I have walked this journey. And I intend to continue down this path. But I don’t want to walk alone. And if you’re still reading this, I’m guessing that you don’t want to walk alone either. Let’s journey together. 

So, here we are. Here we are within a cancer community that is suffering: psychologically, physically and existentially. Here we are with promising medicines that could potentially alleviate that suffering. And here we are trying to mitigate real medical and legal risks. And where we are in a society that lacks clear, reliable information to support informed decisions about risks vs. benefits. Alas. 

And so. Here you are. I probably don’t know you or why you’re here. But I do know that you’re still here reading this rambling, ranting screed. Why are you here? I’m genuinely curious. 

Maybe you’re a person who was diagnosed with cancer and is now exploring psychedelic medicines. Maybe you have a loved one who is living with cancer. Or maybe you’re an oncologist or psychiatrist working with cancer patients. Or maybe you’re a scientist researching psychedelic medicines. Or maybe you’re a policy-maker evaluating psychedelic laws. Or maybe you’re in the media covering trends in psychedelic medicines. I probably don’t know you personally, but I know that you’re a human exploring the use of psychedelic medicines. So, let’s journey together. 

And now, you get to decide what to do next. Maybe you close out this window and forget that you ever read this. Or maybe, just maybe, this is the first step in your journey. And maybe you choose to join our community and share a bit of information about yourself on our website. 

Let’s journey together. I look forward to hearing from you. Let’s make that happen: community@healingcancerjourneys.org.